Bob's Blog

Gaming and stuff from a customer POV

Rant Rated R

Posted by Bob* on February 22, 2014

*yawns* it’s february 22d and is HOT! 30 C hot. what the crack february?!

oh well another week ended. so..

You know why I hate videogames’ news and gamers? because they live in a fantasy distorted land that doesn’t make sense.

Take Bioshock Infinite for example…

I never played that game before. One, I don’t have an “industry console” for hardbrocores so i can’t play it. Two, I don’t care. I have seen the videos and looks….fine. But holly fucking shit! all the fucking scandal geeks and otakus made about it! every fucking place on the web talked about the game. How wonderful it was, how artistic (vomits) it was, how it was the best fucking thing ever made and how a masterpiece it was! hwo it had modern songs with classic style! how it was based in disney!!! ZOMG!!!!awards, awards everywhere!….

…and it only sold a little more than 4 million copies THROUGH ALL CONSOLES. PS3, XBOX360, PC, MAC…..that’s 1 million copies for each console in average.

…that’s not much. That’s fucking mediocre. Puzzelda skyward sword sold almost 5 million in one singleconsole and it was considered a dissapointment! And this game didn’t even sold that in 4 platforms!!

Seriously gamers are so….*sighs* But because karma exists, the studio has been disolved and now it will make “smaller games focusing on a replayable narrative for the core gamers”…translation: “we will make niche games for niche audiences because our games doesn’t have mainstream appeal and it is too hard for us. and we rather be dead that make games FOR ZE CAZUALS DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!”

Fuck them. I hope they burn and crash. I am tired o these arrogant studios and their rock star attitudes. I hope they all drop dead and work in Mcdonalds. At least that’s a more useful job than keep poisoning gaming with their lies.

Also…

……..this is the comic book movie nerds are all mastrubating with? THIS?! It’s so goddamn cheesey!!! UGH! I mean….UGH!!!!!

Marvel movies studios are so fucking overrated. It’s annoying.

Ok fine, I give you that not all comic book movies should be serious and grimm. I actually like that idea. That’s cool.

But the idiotic cult geeks and nerds are giving to marvel studios is fucking pathetic. Everytime a news come for the new X-men movie (which sounds more interesting than this one) they bitch, bitch, bitch “eew I hate synger” “eew I hate quicksilver because it has silver hair” THE STUPID CHARACTER HAS SILVER HAIR MORONS!!! But a campy talking cartoon appears and all nerds have orgasms. *rolls eyes*

Maybe this movie will be fun and good. Maybe. I dunno. I dont care. I jsut wish I would have a turn off botton to avoid nerd drama everytime I read something like this and get il-biased.

Oh but the cherry on the cake…

You know what it is:

“Johnny Storm is black!”

….uh who cares?

“what if they cast superman as black?!”

…well why not?

“or wonder woman asian?”

….again why not?!

“or black panther as a white man?”.

…doesn’t make sense because being black is IMPORTANT for the plot of Black panther.

Is not important for superman.

Is not important for wonder woman.

IT IS  NOT IMPORTANT FOR THE HUMAN TORCH!!!

“But his sister is white! doesn’t make any sense!!!!”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

This is the 21st century for christ’s sake!!!! I’ll give you that if both parents are white but we still don’t know and I seriously doubt it.

And last, these are fucking comic books! Knock it off! I never ever understood why they egt so damn attached to FICTIONAL WORKS to a point that nothing should be altered in some form. If more important works, like Shakeaspeare or The Bible, have had reinterpretations along the times, why not cartoon characters? grow up.

“but they are too young!!”

There are god knows many interpretation of superheroes in both DC and Marvel. These are based in one of them. Besides there’s already a more closer version of them released 10 years ago more or less and you made a tantrum about it.

“They should give the rights back to marvel! they are awesome!!!”

yeah because you all loooooooooooved Iron Man 3, right?

Seriously make up your mind already. You nerds make me ill.

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Aounuma el Idiota

Posted by Bob* on September 4, 2012

Oh vaya..la linea oficial de tiempo de The Legend of Zelda que Nintendo, de una vez por todas, decidio dar a las masas de geeks y otakus de internet y asi dejar claro de una vez por todas a donde ira Zelda.

Como no lo note antes….

¿Que tiene que ver esto con Eiji “le puse trenes a zelda porque a mi hijo le gustan” Aounuma?

Ok, tal vez sepan que por una estupida razon (*cof*Miyamoto*cof*) Eiji Aounuma es ahora el mero mero detras de la franquicia de Zelda desde Ocarina of Time, el cual el creo y diseño los calabozos obsesivamente llenos de Puzzles y el cual Nintendo trata como si se tratara de un regalo divino de los dioses o algo asi (Si OoT fue tan grandioso entonces, ¿porque no salvo al N64 como lo hizo Smash Bros.?)

Desde entonces el ha estado a cargo de los juegos de Zelda empezando con  Majora’s Mask el cual fracaso en ventas y solo a los N64 Kids les gusto, el aburrido y feo (muy feo!) Wind Waker, el inflado y gris Twilight Princess y el increiblemente decepcionante manga interactivo de Skyward Sword y sus maratones de puzzles.

El estupido sigue haciendo Zelda cada vez menos como un hibrido de juego Arcade y RPG en un mundo medieval y cada vez mas y mas como un anime interactivo retacado de puzzles. Cada juego que sale vende menos que el anterior y sin embargo, el tipejo sigue a cargo gracias a Shigeru Miyamoto, el papa de Mario…quien no hizo un Mario en 2D  a pesar de que todo mundo lo pedia por casi 20 años solo porque no se le pegaba la regalada gana y ahora los hace de una manera mediocre como si estuviera mostrando el dedo medio a la audiencia.

Ok pero…¿que tiene que ver esto con la cronologia oficial de Zelda?

Bueno tal vez no lo saben pero Eiji Aounuma, el hombre a cargo de Zelda, ODIA EL ZELDA ORIGINAL. Sip, asi es. Nunca le gusto la primera parte porque se le hizo muy dificil, ni la segunda y en Link to the Past solo se la pasaba cortando arboles. La razon por la que Miyamoto lo contrato es porque hacia titeres en la universidad (????) y Miyamoto penso que por eso era el indicado para dirigir Zelda (????????????????).
Ahora el argumento de “no hago Mario 2D porque no quiero” tiene sentido eh?

En fin, chequen que pasa si LINK GANA al final de Ocarina of time:

Timeline A (“Adult Timeline”), Link defeats Ganon

The Wind Waker
Phantom Hourglass
Spirit Tracks

Timeline B (“Child Timeline”), Link prevents Ganondorf’s acquisition of the Triforce

Majora’s Mask
Twilight Princess
Four Swords Adventures.

Okay…ahora miren que pasa si LINK PIERDE en Ocarina of Time:

Timeline C, Link fails to defeat Ganondorf during Ocarina of Time

A Link to the Past
Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons
Link’s Awakening
The Legend of Zelda
The Adventure of Link.

Entonces……..si Link gana, los bebes que nadie quiere de Aounma suceden…..

Pero si Link pierde…..los juegos que Aounuma odia, ¿¡pasan en su lugar?!

Muuuuuuuuuy sutil

Ok , saben que? ya termine con Zelda. Esto es muy estupido y una falta de respeto a la mitologia del juego y a la auidencia que puso esos titulos en donde estan.

Por mi que Zelda siga saliendo, y fallando en ventas, y que nadie mas que a los juascors le guste, y que los nerds traten a Aounuma como un dios junto con Miyamoto mientras Zelda se convierta en una auto-parodia.

Skyward Sword fue el colmo. Se acabo.

Zelda esta muerto.

Vete al diablo Aounuma.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Why Nintendo is not like Apple

Posted by Bob* on May 15, 2011

This generation that is coming to an end is so full of  lies and falacies that just makes one sick.

One of them is the “Apple vs Nintendo” imaginary war that the media likes to shout whenever they can.

Not only is like comparing Apples with Oranges 😛 but because seeing the way they work and the products they create, is obvious that they have a very different philosophy.

Yes, both companies make Hardware/Sofwtare integrated products. And yes both companies aim to the mainstream customers with their products. But that’s it. Yes, the ipad has games but so Intel PCs with windows and nobody compares them to the Wii (if someone does, he/she doesn’t have a clue what is talking about).

The Biggest  difference is simply that one is a computer company and the other is an entertainment (videogaming) one.  But there’s a huge difference and is one many doesn’t notice:

Apple doesn’t give a damn what others say but the customers…and Nintendo does.

Let’s be honest here: the people that hates Apple are people that has the “freedom for all” mentality of computing that doesn’t fit in reality. The same people that advocates the Free and open source software as the be all, end all utopia for users. The ones that cannot stand why the stupid people love the ipad so much and cannot embrace Linux if is “superior”..

No I am not talking about customers or gamers. Besides any one will spend the money in the things he /she considers fit their lives. That’s a personal issue and companies are there to win their time and attention (and money 😉 )

I am talking about  the techn/geeks/nerds on the PC industry. People that has the erroneous belief that people should adapt to technology, when the nature of technology is the oposite. People that cannot stand why the wii succeded with its SD resolution.

Is people that is way out in the clouds and doesn’t know what they are talking about. And they never care.

Can you imagine if Apple listened to them? Apple would be in the same sink hole they were in the late 80s, first half of 90s (the time Steve jobs was absent), they would even exist by now. We would never see products like the ipod, macintosh, apple II, ipad, apple store..products that revolutionized computing.

Apple knows that and they know that the only one that should listen are their customers, both existant and could-be ones. They just shrug and keep working and laughs hard when the sales come out and the geeks keep crying for it.

Like it or not, people buys there products because they are appealing to them in many ways. Nintendo? Not all. What tech geeks and nerds believe is in the end, non-important

So..what about Nintendo?

When the Wii and the NDS appeared, the Game industry ( analysts, pseudo-journalists, 3d parties developers, forum dwellers) attacked them, criticized them, called them from “non-consoles” to “a gimmicks” and even “a virus”.

Sales said otherwise and the Wii was, for 3 years a huge gaming phenomenon…

..until Nintendo started to listen to them!

Don’t believe me? Just see the Nintendo 3DS. Is nothing but a geek/technocrati wet dream. It is completly unfriendly with the customer (expensive, low battery, causes headaches, mediocre games) and Project  Cafe seems to go that way.

What the hell happened?!

Nintendo just couldn’t stand their (stupid and blind) criticism and instead of watching the behaviours of their customers, just went and started to apologize with the arrogant 3d parties and journalists and started to listen to them. Why? Is obvious that they never understood why they were succesful and they never cared. Why Nintendo listened to them?

It seems that they rather be a niche, funny, cute console in 3d place than a hated, 1st place mainstream one.

Is like watching a smart guy falling in love with a blonde, stupid girl that doesn’t care about him but he wants so hard to be loved by her even if it means to be humiliated in front of her.

That’s something Apple is uncapable of do. They just say “ah shut up” and keep working instead of “no! please don’t go! love me, loooooveee meeee!”like Nintendo does.

People criticizes Apple for being arrogant. But that arrogance is the one that saved them from oblivion. People like to dream with a happy place where everyody is full of sugar but that people are mostly losers.

Nintendo prefers to be the sideshow kid with the jock gang even if they can be much more.

Absurd? yeah maybe, but then again, game industry is becoming more absurd every day. So why is that surprising anyway?

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Mario Kart wish list

Posted by Bob* on May 15, 2011

My favorite Mario Kart has always been Double Dash!!


I also like Mario Kart wii, Mario Kart DS and MK64 to some extent.

I don’t like Super Mario Kart, though. I cannot stand the drift and slippery courses.

Maybe the main reason is that it was the  first Mario Kart that I played more constantly and seriously and that has a lot to do.

There are 4 things though that I love from DD!! that I hasn’t found in the other Karts:

1.-2-character karts. I love the idea of making your own 2 characters in a car team. It’s just
so much fun to mix your characters and see how they interact with:

2.-Special Items: every character has a special item that gives the game more strategy and lots of
suprises and experiments.

3.-Speed. I have found this the element that has been overlooked in new MKs and I dunno why.

4.-All cup-tour: Again, a very cool idea. The VS mode in MKWii and MKDS is nice and  kinda simmilar but is not that exciting.

Of course is far from perfect but after all these 4 years since I bought it, I have never stopped playing with it. is just the perfect game for me to relax and kill boredom on my free time.

The next Mario Kart will appear on the N3DS and obviously in the new game console that will arrive in about 2 years more or less. I guess that I will buy whatever next console to play MK…or maybe no who nows.

But I guess that both versions, the 3DS and the Project cafe one will be like MKWii and MK64, simply because they are the most succesful versions. And that’s fine and all. I love those games.

Although it would be nice to see the 2-character team per car mode (maybe as an option instead of Bikes? please?), a faster speed than MKwii’s, a VS mode that doesn’t start to lose near the end. And I hope the idea of the special items returns too.

It would be nice if they keep the classic cups with classic courses as well as the air tricks. That was a great addition.
Online was great on MKWii..I just hope they fix the scoring system. Is too discoraging and unfair.

Oh well. I guess we won’t see anything new until a couple of years, maybe more.

Posted in Nintendo, Videogaming | 1 Comment »

Wii Generation: Myths and Realities

Posted by Bob* on May 15, 2011

Myth: The Wii succedeed because of its weird funny controller.

Reality: The Wii succedeed because it returned gaming to its arcade roots. The “funny controller” was just the way not the goal. Games like Wii sports, Mario Kart wii and even New Super Mario Bros. Wii were very arcade like (easy to play, hard to defeat). That’s why they succeeded.

Myth: Nintendo needs the Third Parties badly!

Reality: Nintendo crushed the competition and broke sales records for 4 years in a row DESPITE the mediocre 3d parties efforts. While companies like EA, Activision and others closed studios, fired employees, cancelled projects and were in red numbers. In less than 3 years.

Myth: Gaming is art

Reality: Gaming is entertainment. Not art. Art means the artists is first and the audience is later and in entertainment is the opossite. The first and foremost are the customers. The “art” mentality is the responsible of mediocre games and mediocre developers and they decline.

Myth: Casuals are nothing but a niche audience.

Reality: Casuals doesn’t exist. That’s a buzzword created by the industry to TRY to understand why mainstream customers doesn’t embrace the artsy games from the HD twins. Hardcore gamers is the same issue.

The truth is that “Hardcores” are the niche ones. Is a shrinking audience that doesn’t grow and keeps the same gaming habits from the last 15 years. What the industry refers to “casuals” are normal regular gamers, that are mostly forgotten byt the big companies or treated like idiots.

Sales show that fact.

Myth: “Hardcores” are the most important type of gamers.

Reality: Hardcores are the most vocal and noisy type of gamers. Hardly the most important. If that will be true, then the HD consoles would have been the number 1 console in all territories and that’s far from reality.

Myth: Nintendo owners only buy Nintendo games, that’s why 3d parties struggle!

Reality: Any type of console owner will buy a console for the 1st parties offers. Halo did helped sold xboxes. Grand Turismo helped  sell PS consoles. The reason why Nintendo owners buy more Nintendo games than the other gamers is because of the kind of the number of properties Nintendo has.

Third parties “struggle” because they don’t want to compete. Unlike the 8-bit and 16-bit days, when most game companies tried to  sell to those gamers outperforming Nintendo, third parties now want to have everything easy without any kind of effort.

Myth: Nintendo most listen to the 3d parties or else..

Reality: Nintendo listened to the 3d parties many times and when it does, it fails. The Gamecube was created with suggestions and input from 3d parties and it was ignored. The Wii was promoted with 3d parties with low  developing costs and a huge user base and they ignored it too.

Third Parties are important but not vital. Sales talk for themselves.

Myth: Farmville succedeed because is stupid and easy to get.

Reality: Farmville succedded because it fitted in Facebook users lives without substituting them. Many mainstream users don’t play games because most of them require them to spend a lot of time..time that most people doesn’t have. Games liek  Farmville are easy to get, uses FB social elements and it adjusts to people’s lives.

Gaming is entertainment. And entertainment HAS TO ADJUST TO USERS, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

Myth: Apple is Nintendo’s biggest competition

Reality: Apple is a computer company. Nintendo a gaming one. They may compete in an entertainment p.o.v but the customers are very different and the sales from one doesn’t affects the others. They are not related.

This “Apple vs Nintendo” is another Game Industry Bullshit falacy created to distract its gamers followers from the shrinking sales of the big companies like MS and Sony. Is not based in solid, realistic facts. Only distorted numbers
and pretty words.

Myth: Kinect and Move will make the HD twins to sell like the Wii did!

Reality: Kinect and Move shows how the industry (Ms and Sony, “Hardcore” gamers, game “journalists”, analysts) doesn’t undertsand why the Wii sold that much in that little time. Their sales are non-existant and doesn’t move hardware.

Myth: Project Cafe will be a HUGE success with the HD, the REAL controller and all the 3d parties yay!

Reality: it didn’t helped the HD consoles to get in first place all these 6 years, why this time will be different?

Myth: The Wii has Shovelware! OMG!

Reality: Every succesful console has Shovelware. Is inevitable. The Atari, the NES, the PSOne, the Gameboy, the Nintendo DS, the Wii….why this generation is different?

Myth: Third parties cannot make games on the Wii because they need HD for their games!

Reality: High definition is just that: HIGH DE-FI-NI-TION. Nothing more and nothing less but a higher resolution.  It has nothing to do with gaming. Companies have been making Standard Definition games 5 years ago and suddenly they cannot now?

Posted in Nintendo, Videogaming | 2 Comments »

Nintendo’s Project Cafe

Posted by Bob* on April 27, 2011

Since this month started, news about a new console by Nintendo seemed very unlikely. Not because Nintendo wouldn’t do it but because the way the rumours were spread. IGN and GameInformer, two very anti-wii outlests, having those news? seemed very cheesy. I decided to stop reading them until Nintendo said something.
Then last monday, this:

http://www.nintendo.co.jp/ir/pdf/20…../110425_4e.pdf

Ok. Good. Fine…..At least we finally hear it from them instead of the odious hardcores and journalists. Now any kind of debate will be based on reality.

……

Personally, I do have a bittersweet taste about this. The Wii has a lot of untapped potential, specially with WM+ and more people that has yet to be expanded in gaming which was the Wii mission..the Revolution of gaming.

But in the end they decided to throw the towel and be the game industry’s bitch.

So this E3 Nintendo may steal the show again it seems. Hmm good for them. Until then we don’t know exactly what expect from Project Cafe.
Granted, Nintendo’s machines have always been quality products with great software… so I guess that we can at least expect quality games with their franchises like Mario, Zelda, Metroid, Samsh brothers, mario kart and the succesors of Wii sports and Wii play. Who knows?  maybe they may give us a nice surprise with the machine and time will tell if it will be a worthy successor of the Wii.

I HIGHLY doubt it to be honest.

What I am NOT expecting though is great third party support. 3d parties MAY support it at the beginning specially with 360/PS3 ports but later they will keep finding excuses to not make games for it. They won’t ever commit to make games for a machine that has a strong 1st party line up and forces them to work hard at it. 3D parties are lazy, arrogant and snob.

Remember the Gamecube? It was made with 3d parties input, specially after the pain in the ass that was the N64…but then the mediocre Xbox appeared and ditched the Gamecube..simply because it is more easy to make a mediocre game to sell a lot than making a good game that competes with Mario.

Also, I am not expecting it to be the phenomenon that the wii was. It may have a new wii sports resort, a 2d mario or a mario kart but it won’t expand audiences like the wii did. Simpy because saying that “developers made us do it” reflects Nintendo’s priorities and that is being loved by the industry, not customers. Even if that means be a niche product.

I really hope that those abrsurd rumours about that abomination of controller (like an iPad mated with a Gamecube controller o_O) are fake. Seriously I hope so…

I am both curious and dissapointed. The Wii could have been much more but Nintendo didn’t give a damn in the end. I still want to see how this machine will be and I am hoping it makes me change my mind.

But I have learned to be dissapointed by the industry so..whatever.

I guess that now the stupid manchildren hardcore gamers that populate the web are happy and think that they won over “ze cazualz” …but they don’t have a clue what are they talking about. They, like good nerds, are disconnected from the real world, see the world only through their God-minded view and think they are over everybody else. Just look at the super hero comic book industry. The stories are terrible, elitist crap, written by and for niche audiences.  When nerds rule, they shrink everything and segregates it from the mainstream. They are not different from “the suits”
Will I’ll buy this console? I don’t know. If there’s something I learned all these years is that is not wise to buy consoles at launch and at least wait for a year to grow up. For me there must be at least 3 interesting  games that I would like to play to buy a game console. Did that with the Wii and the DS so same here.

After E3 I’ll see.

What a dissapointing ending for a very promising generation this was. The Wii generation started with the excitement of the NES..and ended with the dissapointment of the 16-bit wars.

Since the Cinematic Generation started on 1995, gaming has taken a road I am not interested in go with. I want games to be as popular and accepted like TV, not a niche medium like super heroes comic books. Many had told me that I have changed as a gamer. No I didn’t. Is the game industry that has changed. Sometimes you shrug and go with it but sometimes you realize is not worthy anymore.

It sucks to lose faith in the things you love. But I guess that’s the price when growing up.

Posted in Nintendo, Videogaming | Leave a Comment »

The Nintendo vs Apple fallacy

Posted by Bob* on March 25, 2011

Something I always found weird and annoying…I should find it funny too but after all these years of no advancements one can get fed up..is how Nintendo is always downplayed with game journalists, analysts and hardcore nerds in general. It is always seen as a “kiddie” company that lives in the middle ages and their success is always something for a dumb absurd unreal reason.

But when a new console from them appears, you start to see absurd Op-ed’s, blogs and verbal diarreha about how Nintendo is dooooooooomed or how Nintendo is nice but cannot compete with the (losers) MS and Sony because DUDE! THEY DUNT HAV THE GRAFX PWAH DUDE!..

You can smell their fear and paranoia. Is obvious that game journalists, analysts and 3d parties hate Nintendo and will do whatever it is in their power to destroy its popularity.

the last one, the Apple vs Nintendo meme….I mean….seriosuly what the hell?!

Just look at these ones:

http://money.cnn.com/video/technolo…..eview.fortune/

For the Hardcore gamer that grew up with Halo….what that fuck is that suppose to means?1

A stylus! I haven’t seen one since the Palm Pilot!...huh? I still see cell phones that use stylus!

it uses cartridges like the game boy!..ugh!

And is not only one. This one is very idiotic too:

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105…..#ixzz1HTbXIgaa

The moron that wrote that assumes that Nintendo is in a big problem because ipads and iphones are pòpular and DUDE! THERE ARE 99 CENTS GAMES DUUUDE!

What’s the problem with this….”war” between Apple and Nintendo?

Ok first of all IT DOESN’T EXISTS. Yes many app games are selling. But they don’t canibalize NDS sales. So, what threath? games in the app store sell and games on the NDS sell too.

Second of all, is a very stupid comparison because ONES ARE PORTABLE COMPUTERS AND THE OTHERS ARE PORTABLE DEDICATED GAME CONSOLES.

They have distinct values and goals. When people buys an ipad/iphone they buy them for the same reason people buys computers. People don’t buy a computer expecting to be like a game console nor people buys a console expecting it to be like a PC.

So why ipads and consoles are different?

Yes there are people that buys PCs for gaming only and people that wants a game console that does what a PC does, i.e. the Xbox360 and the PS3..

..and are those consoles succeding? are those consoles storming gaming? are those consoles disrupting PCs? No.

ipad/iphones are disrupting portable PCs not game consoles. Games on the app store are an extra value, not the main core.

The NDS and even the gameboy line sure, were success because they kept the console core and values in a portable manner. The PSP failed because it tried to be a multimedia portable PC and nobody bought that.

Why are these guys promoting that war? Did they got tired that the HD vs Wii console ended very quickly leaving them bitter that the kazual Wii was the winner? or they think that because some of their “artsy” and “mature” games were ported (horribly) to the app store then that counts like a “real portable console”?

Is not about defending Nintendo or attacking Apple. I love the iPad and what is doing and I have my doubts with the Nintendo 3DS.

Is about how pathetic game journalism became. Too short sighted and geeky and elitist that goes as far as missing the differences between a portable console and a portable PC just because they live in fantasy land where games are art or something like that.

I think I am going to stop reading games news site soon. I losted all optimism about them and is obvious that unless something weird and extraordinary happens, they will get worse

Posted in Nintendo, Videogaming | Leave a Comment »

Disecting the new Zelda trailer

Posted by Bob* on March 9, 2011

0:10 – So far I like the new art style. Not as cartoony as the corny Windwaker but not boring like the cinematic dumb Twilight Princess.

0:12 – Hmm….a puzzle to open a door…*shrugs* Ok.

0:17 – 0:30 – a tarantula that belly ups so you can hit it..a plant..a walking totem? Meh. The big brute with the shield…ok it maybe fun..

0:30 – what the hell is that? Oh no no no NOT A BORING TUTORIAL!?

0:34 – *yawn*

0:37 – That bug item that you control looks interesting. I hope that is not to solve only puzzles!

0:40 – I like how the lizards keep changing the shields. That may give it more excitement to battles.

0:44 – Throwing bombs with the nunchuck..ok

0:48– WHAT IS THAT SHIT?!

0:52 – Oh the Stalfos keep changint the direction of the swords. Looks cool actually!

0:55 – And..WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? <_<

0:59 – 6 arms 6 swords?! coooool!

Summary:

Ok I know I sounded pessimistic here but after the nice but meh 3 last zeldas I have been waiting for the same excitiment that the old zeldas (like A Link to the past, the first one…heck even in some ways Ocarina of Time) used to have.

But, ironically, after Ocarina of time, Zeldas became full of puzzles, dumb stories, puzzles, annoying NPCs, puzzles, boring fights and oh yeah, PUZZLES! That I just got fed up of that boring formula.

I can’t really know how this game will fair. After the dissapointing sales of Spirit Tracks (Trains?! in a zelda?! what’s next?! Mario in spac…oops x_X) The guys kept saying over and over again that this new Zelda will be returning to its roots.

But it doesn’t look like, judging from this trailer.

What I don’t get is, why I cannot have this:

in the new zelda? the trailer shows that the Link keeps facing only 2 characters at a time and is still pattern based. Remember how on Zelda 1 and LttP`, the enemies could come from each side and it was up to you to be quick and plan your battles. I mean, if Wii sports resort could why Zelda can’t?! But since the boring overworld of OoT, all zeldas are the same.

Zelda was a game with adventure, exploring, RPG elements and LOTS of action. Not anymore..it seems that is still packed of boring absurd puzzles.

In LttP, for example. Puzzles were to add variety to dungeons while you were exploring and advancing. But since OoT, Zelda’s dungeons became room full of puzzles, then the next one, and the next one, AND the next one! Ugh! I ended up fed up of the Water Temple from OoT *shudders* It seems that SS will be the same..I mean did you see that one where you rotate A FUCKING PUZZLE PIECE IN A HOLE?! AAARGH!

ok ok ok ok yes I am jumping to conclusions. Who knows how the game will end up being right? I still have hopes with this game. I love Zeldas, and just like Mario returned to be cool with NSMBWii (and more or less Galaxy 2) I hope that Zelda became that respected game that everybody, even Nintendo haters , were looking forward.

I am realistic and I know that I won’t have a game like the hard-but-exciting Zelda 1, or the keep-exploring-this-land Link to the past…but I do really really REALLY hope that I don’t get another UGH-SAILING?! Wind Waker or a stupid-NPCs-and-stupid-story Twilight Princess or a what-is-this-shit Phantom Hourglass…or even worse..a PLEASE-KILL-ME! Majora’s Mask *shudders* No wonder why that game never succedded…

I just want a Zelda that make me feel that I am in an interesting dangerous world when I feel that is worthy to have a damn sword and that exploring a dungeon is not an ode to torture. Is ok to have some puzzles here and there but not if it substitutes exploration, adventure and goddamit, action! like it used to be.

Oh well..I guess that by E3 we’ll know…

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Oscar Nite Tonite

Posted by Bob* on February 27, 2011

First year I stopped looking toward the Oscars..although the enthusiasm started to go down a couple of years ago.

I am still gona watch them. why not? is fun to watch even if there are no surprises anymore..

I have been reading about how they will make the show tonight. It seems that they will show more musical numbers, younger presenters and less footage clips. Bah.

The reason is because the rating has been getting lower every year. Last year’s rating was one of the worst for the Oscars.

But they can throw the huge house out of the window and even show Elizabeth Taylor naked and still it won’t attract high ratings.

The reason why mainstream audiences stopped watching the oscars is just a hint of how Hollywood has been treating their customers: like milking cows.

Hollywood was considered the “movie mecca” for a reason: Becuase it was the most amazing place for film entertainment in the whole world. It had an internationl appeal that not only americans loved but everywhere. That’s all in the past now, with new blood of filmmakers just worried about the biggest technology and executives just thinking in what franchise to make to dry to death.

Sales ticket have been in a down spiral since the last half of the decade. Why do you think they pushed the absurd 3D on every movie? because is the only way to have a fake and fragile success while covering the lack of content in movies.

Hollywood used to be a mirror where every people in earth could look themselves and dream about being part of that imaginary world. Now is nothing but a zombie of it former self.

This night the winner will be The King’s Speech. It is the kind of movie the Academy think it should win: a great cast, production values, a personal achievement story based in real life and so on. Is it good or not? I bet it is a good movie but who cares? Not to the academy. Is not a matter of what movie is good or not, but what the academy CONSIDERS good. The Academy has this moral self-assignment of giving a face of hollywood to the rest of the world, even if nobody buys it

The rest of the movies are great too but don’t have a chance to win. Black swan and Inception are too weird. True Grit is by the Coehn brothers so no, too dark. Ditto to The Fighter. Toy story 3 is an animated movie so nope. Winter Bone..who is that? And no way about the lesbian couple one.

These are not my thoughts but the Academy’s ones. They are THAT predictable.

The days when the words “winner/nominated to X Oscar” had a meaning are over. Last year, The Hurt Locker won and it didn’t helped it on the 2d run at theaters or even on DVD sales. It was a good movie, but it won just because of its morale lesson and nothing more. There were better ones, to be honest.

I’ll check the Oscars today at 7 PM and enjoy the music and razzle dazzle. It would be nice to see some surprises in there but I am realistic and to be honest I don’t care.

…..

Oh wanna know my picks? I have only seen Inception, Social Network and Toy story for Best Picture. I loved the the 3 of them but I would choose Inception because it was a great example of what a Blockbuster should be: great pacing, mind blowing story, dialogues, characters, performances, cinematography…not treating customers like idiots and delivering a fine, dazzling spectacle while keeping the audience clinging to their seats.

In other words, the kind of entertainment and wonder Hollywood used to do but don’t give a fuck anymore.

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The Wii Generation

Posted by Bob* on February 23, 2011

On February 26th, the Nintendo 3DS will be released in Japan. One month later, America, Europe and Australia will follow. That will mark the beginning of a new generation of gaming consoles and the final countdown of the current one.

Granted, it can take several months, even years until we see the next home console from anybody being Nintendo, Sony or MS. Who knows who will make the first step? Using the logic, Sony would be the first one because of all the money burned thanks to the dissapointing sales of the PS3 and PSP.

MS cannot say they are in greener pastures either:the Xbox divisions has been a huge waste of money and 2 generations with not being the Numero uno or even making a dent in Japan and Europe (only the UK and Northamerica) could make investors force MS to shut down the Xbox division and focus on something else.

Nintendo could be the last one. After 2 generations of being in 2d and tied, this time they returned to the spotlight and judging the 2010 numbers, they will wait at leasy a couple of years more before releasing the succesor.

But if there’s something this generation has proved is that “logic” doesn’t exists anymore around. Since this generation begun, it has been a lot of turnarounds, unmasking and dissapointments.

Do you know why I bought a Wii? Is not because I am a “Nintendo fan” because the truth is, I am not. I do love Mario, zelda and more recently Metroid yes but there are many things I don’t like about them.

Is because of all the promises the Wii did and was making in their first years: return gaming to the masses. To do what the NES did…20 YEARS AGO! and stopped doing after Sony and MS, 2 companies that have NOTHING to do with gaming, entered and infected everything.

Wii sports, Wii fit, Brain Age, Mario Kart wii..all these games were atracting people that didn’t want to play and started to play. People that was interested in gaming even if years ago they werent’. It was great, a gamer dream come true.

But something weird happened: Before if a console was succesful you could see the 3d parties suporting just for making business..but no.

The first unmasking appeared: 3d Parties are idiots. Completly, totally idiots. Not because they ignored the wii, but the reasons behind it. I always hated the “Games are art” myth and this generation proved why.

All their arrogance, they narcissism made me realize why games lately became boring and uninteresting. They became lazy, self-centered, egoist bastards that were a disgrace to the old developers of yesteryear. They were nothing but failed filmmakers. They showed how obsessed they are with technology that forgot what are they really doing: games.

Take Resident Evil 5 for example. OK sure, porting it to the Wii could take lot of time because it started in a HD architecthture and couldn’t be a wise idea. Understandable..then why they don’t make a proper RE game for it. Come on! a few years ago, lots of wii users were dying for a RE game and instead we got 2 light gun games that nobody asked for and a port of an old game, that granted, it was actually really good and could have been great to seeomething simmilar again. Instead they ignored us, do whatever the fuck they wanted and insulted us because the shitty game bombed!

They ignored a huge oportunity of making great games (and lots of money) just because they would never, ever lowered down to do such thing. They just made crappy, mediocre games for it and if it (obviusly) bombed, it was because “the casuals” didn’t get it.

Which comes the second dissapointment: the labeling by the 3d parties and the pseudo game journalists that are nothing but a bunch of nerds that are getting paid for nothing. Before, “casual” and “hardcore” were just ways of saying the kind of  attitude a gamer could had. One could be a “hardcore” Tetris gamer or a “casual” FPS one.

But this generation (and strangely, after the Wii succeed) 3d parties and game “journalists” used it as a way to differentiate between “Real Gamer” (Hardcore) and Retards/stupid gamers ( Casual). No seriously! Next time you see the expression casual in an artcile o game review just substitute the word casual for stupid and it makes more sense.

Game Journalism has been in decadence since the decade begun but the wii succes made it worse. Much worse. Read a game magazine and is full of vomitive elitist garbage written by a nerd like the ones from “The bing bang theory”. Game Journlism, along 3d parties, are 2 of the biggest dissapointments of thiss generation.

I don’t regret buying a Wii because I played great games on it. But is sad to see all this wasted potential that 3d parties let go. Now I don’t think we’ll see a Resident evil 6 or something on Wii because the simple fact that they prefered to make it in a goddamn portable is a proof that they don’t care what a customer like me would enjoy but what kind of console they want me to buy. Well fuck them. They are nobody to tell me what console I’d get.

Xbox and PS3 are nothing but the same consoles from the past 2 generations just bigger and louder. Without the Wii, I think everybdoy will amaze how amazing Xbox sales are even if they don’t notice that they are the same gamers from the past consoles.

But what also dissapoints me and even more than the 3d parties idiocies, is that Nintendo forgot about the Wii made with the promises of attracting new gamers and expanding gaming like they did 20 years ago. Wii music is a huge dissapointment and the treatment they gave to Metroid is just sad and depressing. It seems that they just don’t care anymore but show how wonderful and “genious” they are. They are, yes,  smarter than Sony and MS but they are so blinded with vanity to see it.

I mean..damn look at the 3DS! It has nothing..NOTHING of the values the Nintendo DS had. Who cares about StreetPass or Augmented Reality games?! The game is full of  pretty looking remakes but no software that could change the landscape of gaming. 3D is nothing but a coat of make up, just like HD. It doesn’t improve games just makes them prettier. And look at the price and battery lenght! This cannot be the same Nintendo that did the revered Gameboy 20 years ago! This is the Nintendo that shot themselves in the foot with the Nintendo 64!

What happened with this generation of gaming so full of promises and changes that gaming needed to destroy the game industry? at what moment 3d parties got this filmmaker complex that doesn’t fit on gaming? since when being the less seller is being the winner? at what moment did Nintendo forgot their goals?

I still love my Wii and with all, I have faith on Nintendo. But the 3DS is like an elephant in a room. Unless it proves that it will improves gaming with content and not looks, then I’ll be more optimistic about it. Because so far, it isn’t. Maybe Zelda Skyward Sword will give it another turn to the tides or maybe not.

I don’t know what to expect this final years to come in this generation or the last one. I love videogames, but gaming changed so much that I cannot get along with it anymore. Is obvious that I didn’t changed that much because I still have the same love for games and the medium since I was a kid. It is gaming that changed and not for good. And to see that the only one that could save it (Nintendo) like they did 30 years ago, don’t care anymore is…well, pretty disheartining.

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